In fact, I would do anything for you, my best friend in the whole world... except write you an actual message. You see, I love everyone on my ICQ list, they are all my best friends and I forwarded this URL to every one of them. Doesn't that make you feel soooo special? There is even a 50/50 chance that I never bothered to visit this page before I forwarded it to you. I forward everything that is sent to me. I'm a compulsive forwarder... I can't help it. The moment I see the word "forward" in a message I immediately send it to everyone. It has become an obsession. I don't have time to write a real message from my heart because I'm too busy forwarding every URL that comes my way. And I won't stop until I've sent you the URL to every page on the entire World Wide Web. Then I'll send them all again. In the same day.
There is another person on my ICQ list who is just like me. All day and night we just keep sending the same URLs back and forth... we are stuck in an endless loop of mindless forwarding.
You know, now that I stopped to think about it for a second, maybe you are not my best friend in the whole world. You could be some total stranger I met one time in a chatroom and added to my contact list. What was your name again? I haven't heard from you since that night six months ago, you could be dead for all I know. Now that I have all 10 million ICQ users on my contact list, I really can't keep up with everyone, so I just send URLs telling them how much I love I feel for each and everyone of them.
Aren't these Friendship Pages wonderful? I don't even have to think for myself, someone else does it all for me. It is even better than a Hallmark card, I would have had to spend a few bucks and sign one of those. But forwarding a URL to everyone requires no thought and almost no effort. Sure beats writing a personal message to you. Then you might respond and I would have to type another message back. Before you know it, we could find ourselves communicating, and that would cut into all the time I spend forwarding impersonal messages.
*Rib-bit* Opps, hold on a moment, I just got another URL sent to me... I'll forward it to everyone now and then bookmark it so I can go back later to see what was there. Now, getting back to you...
I can't risk having an actual conversation with you because I might find out that you are not my best friend in the whole world, and then it might not feel right to send you URLs proclaiming my undying (though superficial) love for you. Naaa... just kidding, I would send them to you anyway because I suffer from CFD (Compulsive Forwarding Disorder).
*Uh oh!* Oh look! Someone just sent me that cute ASCII teddy bear again! I have no idea who the sender is, I don't ever remember when they were added to my list. But they said that I'm a Special Friend™ so maybe we knew each other in a past life or something. I better forward it to everyone on my list. I know that I've already sent this one to everybody 24 times, but just in case someone missed it or forgot how much I love them, I'll send it again and again and again! I haven't had this much fun since my failed frontal lobotomy.
*Uh oh!* Another ICQ coming in!!! Hey, wait a minute! This one says Mirabilis is going to start charging for ICQ and I can vote against it by forwarding it to everyone. Even says it is "not a lie." Now I may be a complete sucker for every hug 'n' kiss-a-thon, but I'm not going to fall for that old trick again. No way, not me. Instead I'll send back the URL for the ICQ Lies page at http://diamond-back.com/icqlies.html and tell them to get a clue. That page really cracks me up, I wish more people would read it.
Well, even though you are my best friend in the whole world, I have to be going now. Maybe someday we will chat again and I can find out who you really are (don't count on it). Take care. C'yaz. Nighty-night. Bub-bye. Have a good one. Sign my guestbook. TTFN! Luv u! *kiss* (((hugz)))